Many who know Cody and me are aware that we each spent a significant season of singleness before we were married in 2019. Our paths looked different, but during that time God graciously surrounded us with community—other singles walking through a variety of seasons. Those people are very close to our hearts. We understand this journey personally, including how well-meaning friends and mentors can offer advice or perspective that, despite good intentions, can sometimes feel hurtful or damaging.
Within Christian circles, there is often an unspoken pressure to “fix” singleness. Churches may create special programming for single believers with the hope of helping, yet these efforts can sometimes leave singles feeling even more uncomfortable—especially when surrounded by couples and families within the church body.
Although Cody and I both experienced different forms of loss during our single years, we have not walked the road of widowhood ourselves. I did, however, walk closely with my mom during the three years after my father passed away, before she joined him in Heaven. That season profoundly shaped my understanding of grief, loneliness, and God’s nearness.
This blog series has been on my heart for quite some time, and I intentionally chose the month of February to share it. Valentine’s Day is often more of an annoyance than a joy for many—even for those happily in love. Yet culturally, February makes it nearly impossible to avoid the aggressive marketing and idealization of romance. Even the most content or jaded among us must brace ourselves against the constant reminders of cultural expectations and romantic ideals.
Wherever you find yourself in your season of singleness—newly widowed, recently abandoned, waiting, or unsure whether a relationship is part of your story—this series is for you. You are seen. You are known. You have purpose. You are called to obedience within God’s design for you, both now and beyond this season.
We begin this series by addressing one of the greatest hindrances to living with contentment and effectiveness while walking through life without a spouse: loneliness.
God said in Genesis 2:18, “It is not good that man should be alone.” We were not created to embrace loneliness easily. Yet this does not mean you are broken or outside of God’s will if you are unmarried. Today, we focus on Psalm 68:5–6:
“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families.”
Loneliness can strike suddenly and without explanation. It doesn’t always align with holidays or romantic milestones. You may have no desire for a relationship and still find yourself overwhelmed by loneliness.
This passage reminds us first of who God is. He is sovereign—above it all—seeing your story from before conception into eternity. Though He is not a mere mortal, Scripture uses human language to help us understand His heart: a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows. God sees us in our most vulnerable state. We are not only seen; our needs are met. And not just adequately—He meets them far beyond what any human relationship could provide.
Now pause and reread the final phrase:
“God sets the lonely in families.”
This does not always mean biological families. Regardless of your circumstances, location, or relationship status, you belong to the family of God. You have been grafted into the royal family of the King of Kings.
Our culture often encourages isolation. We live vicariously through screens, withdrawing from connection due to fear, pride, or assumption. What a tragedy it is to believe there is no place for us in the body of Christ when God Himself designed us to live surrounded by love and support.
God never promised marriage to everyone—but He did promise provision, care, protection, and guidance. And in His goodness, He often fulfills those promises through our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Loneliness is not exclusive to singleness. There are seasons of loneliness in marriage, engagement, parenthood, and every stage of life. I have counseled many who feel deeply isolated despite having full households. Family does not have to be biological or romantic—family is what provides belonging. There is a place for you at the table.
This message is not meant to shame you for feeling lonely. God names loneliness not to condemn it, but to answer it. He is not standing idly by while we struggle through longing and loss. He is active.
Your root system may be changing. God may be using singleness to reshape where and how you are planted. But changes to roots are always for the purpose of growth. Embrace where He is placing you, and watch how His care and provision unfold.
Take a moment to reflect on this question in light of Psalm 68:5–6:
Where have I believed the lie that I am alone when God says I am placed?
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