The questions that plague our hearts…
Will I ever find love?
Am I worthy of being loved?
Is God going to be faithful to bring love into my life?
Is there something wrong with me?
If you are in a season of longing, you may find these doubts drifting in and out of your mind. From childhood, Disney has taught us that love is something to be achieved. “Someday my prince will come.” A romance that is a “tale as old as time.” Romantic comedies and love songs reinforce beliefs that often do not align with the truth of God’s Word.
Your prince or princess may arrive—but “happily ever after” is never promised. Those who have been married know this well. Earthly love is love with another fallible human being. Not every day is happy. “Ever after” is a choice, and sometimes “ever after” ends abruptly in “death do us part.”
I am not here to burst your romanticized bubble. I am here to offer reminders from God’s Word as someone who has walked the road of singleness.
Direct your heart to 1 John 4:16:
“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.”
That is poetry.
God is love. Not the kind of love that fails, forgets, falls apart, or reaches an ending—but God Himself. Your God. The God who saved you, redeemed you, calls you His own, and intends to love you for eternity. Human love is a limited reflection of divine love—beautiful, yes, but imperfect. God’s love is beyond our understanding and should lead us to humble gratitude.
Love is not something you wait for—it is something you live in.
God does not promise love eventually. He is love now. We are surrounded by His love and given His love letter to us—Scripture—available at any time. But as with any relationship, if we neglect communication and intimacy, we will feel distant and unloved. God is a patient pursuer of our hearts, but He also calls us to respond in obedience.
So if you are feeling burned out from searching for love—stop.
There is an intimacy available to us through God by the power of the Holy Spirit. Choosing to commune with God does not mean you will never experience a loving human relationship. It means you will no longer try to fill a void that only God can fill with another person.
And let’s be honest—that isn’t fair.
Placing the weight of our deepest needs on another human being sets both the person and the relationship up for failure.
Now let me be very clear: I am not saying that you are single because you are not communing fully with God. I was told that lie myself, and I have watched others struggle under its weight.
What I am saying is this:
Experiencing intimacy with God is a calling on our lives regardless of the season we are in.
A married person with a house full of children and a single, childless person are called to the same things: love God and love others. These are the greatest commandments (Mark 12:30–31). Loving God comes first—before your spouse or the pursuit of one.
We will become far more Christlike partners if we focus more on our relationship with God than on the dating process. Rooting ourselves in the Word of God and living in intimacy with Him strengthens every relationship in our lives.
Practically speaking, I cannot tell you whether you should download another dating app or agree to another blind date. But I can tell you this: drawing near to God must be a greater priority than chasing love.
You are already invited into a loving, fully sufficient relationship. Allow God to meet your needs first—then let the overflow shape how you love and serve others.
Do not live in fear of missing out.
Dwell in love.
Serve from overflow.
Love from overflow.
Live fully in His unfailing love.
Trusting God with your present and your future becomes far more natural when you truly know His heart.
For those who are learning to be content yet cautious, hopeful yet surrendered, no longer desperate for love, consider this reflection question for the week:
What would change if I believed love already surrounds me?
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